We are everywhere. You are not alone. And, you are not crazy.
We sit in nearly every church in the United States. We are Sunday School teachers and nursery volunteers and sing on the worship team. We are daughters, sisters and wives of pastors. We are women who have been negatively impacted by abortion.
No one would ever know it to look at us, because we look just like everyone else though we may feel permanently and prominently marked by our sin. Others in the church do not understand the magnitude of this issue because post-abortive Christian women are largely a silent group.
Your pastor, priest or ministry leader is not going to understand the turmoil you experienced unless you tell them. Many have never spoken with a post-abortive woman. They know what abortion is, but they may not know how it can affect marriages, parenting, mental health and spiritual vitality.
Remember: you are likely not the only one in your church, Bible Study or small group impacted by abortion. The longer abortion remains a fearful secret – one that is rarely spoken of in church settings and Christian circles – the longer women will remain in prisons of fear, guilt and shame. There are loud voices in our world that say abortion is our right as women and it is nothing to be ashamed of. There are even voices that speak proudly of the decision that was made. Those voices do not speak for all women.
The enemy of our souls wants to keep post-abortive women in churches isolated from one another. When women are freed from this secret in their lives, they can become powerful forces for God. They are able to help others find their way to freedom in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:11-21). And, the enemy is defeated (Revelation 12:11).
Symptoms of abortion-related trauma in women can include1, 2, 3:
It is one thing to read a list of possible symptoms – it is another thing to deal with the thoughts and feelings that plague you. You may have thoughts about God punishing you by not letting you have children or by taking away the children that you do have. You may have times of the year when you are obsessed by thoughts of your baby or be overcome by memories of the abortion. Or, maybe you can’t remember anything at all and wonder if it ever really happened. Whatever your thoughts, you are not the only one.
Statistics suggest that 1 in 4 American women will have an abortion by age 454. And yet it remains a closely guarded secret for many women – sometimes for many years. We (post-abortive women) look around and think that no one else could possibly share this same secret. And, again, we think we are all alone.
That is exactly what the enemy of your soul wants you to think. Satan wants you in a place of isolation and fear – warning constantly that you must keep our secret – whispering that you will face only condemnation and judgment if anyone ever finds out.
Remind yourself right now who Satan really is:
Now, remind yourself who God is:
God is bigger. He considers you to be His beloved daughter - He delights in you (Zephaniah 3:17; 2 Corinthians 6:18). He desires to see you live for Him, free from guilt and condemnation (John 10:10).
Contact We Are Everywhere. We can help you find the resources you need to start your journey toward healing and wholeness if you feel trapped into silence by a past abortion. We can provide support and resources as you prayerfully consider ways that God may want to use your brokenness to help others.
Add your name to We Are Everywhere's Open Letter to Pastors, Priests and Ministry Leaders. We simply use first names and city/state of residence on this document. The growing list of names affixed to the letter attests to the fact that there are women everywhere who have experienced abortion and its aftermath. The letter is on our website. It is also distributed in paper copies and electronic media (i.e. email, social media).
Talk to your spiritual leader (pastor, priest, ministry leader). Share the Open Letter and a bit of your own story. Tell them about the thoughts, feelings and fear that you have experienced:
Encourage them to take action by committing to speak specific words of truth and grace directed at post-abortive women. Give them a copy of the customizable resource sheet to distribute whenever this message is shared. Offer to be a resource for them – by talking to others in the church impacted by abortion, by leading a post-abortion Bible Study, by sharing a testimony in church, etc.
Consider submitting a written or video testimony to We are Everywhere that shares a bit of your own story, as well as a plea to spiritual leaders to speak directly to the issue of the impact of abortion on Christians.
